Understanding Friction: Why High Performers Leave and How to Keep Them Engaged

High performers often leave teams not because they dislike hard work, but because they want to avoid unnecessary friction. This friction can take many forms: unclear priorities, indecisive leadership, unresolved incompetence, and a gradual decline in standards as others rely too heavily on one person. These challenges create a work environment that drains motivation and energy, pushing even the most dedicated individuals to seek better conditions elsewhere.

This post explores why your strongest team members are often the first to quit, what friction looks like in everyday work, and how simple changes can help keep them engaged. If you are a high performer feeling quietly frustrated or a leader struggling to retain your best people, this article offers practical insights and steps to create a clearer path forward.

Why High Performers Leave

High performers are not afraid of effort or responsibility. They thrive on challenges and take pride in delivering quality work. What drives them away is the constant battle with obstacles that slow progress or waste their time. These obstacles include:

• Shifting priorities that make it hard to focus or complete projects.

• Leaders who avoid making decisions, leaving teams stuck in limbo.

• Unaddressed incompetence that forces others to pick up the slack.

• Erosion of standards as one person carries the burden to keep things afloat.

  
  

When these issues persist, high performers feel their efforts are wasted or undervalued. They start to question whether staying is worth the frustration.

What Friction Looks Like in Day-to-Day Work

Friction is often invisible until it becomes overwhelming. Here are some common examples:

• A product designer spends hours redesigning a feature only to have the goalposts moved by shifting business priorities.

• A developer waits days for a manager’s approval because the leader is indecisive or unavailable.

• A team member covers for a colleague who consistently misses deadlines, causing delays and extra work.

• Quality standards slip because no one enforces them, and the high performer ends up fixing errors repeatedly.

  
  

These situations create a cycle where the high performer becomes a “hero” who saves the day but grows increasingly exhausted and resentful.

The Emotional Reality Behind the Resignation Letter

When a high performer resigns, the letter often masks deeper feelings. It’s not just about burnout or workload. It’s about feeling stuck in a system that doesn’t support their growth or respect their time. They may feel invisible, unappreciated, or trapped in a role where their talents are wasted.

This emotional toll can lead to disengagement long before the resignation. The decision to leave is often a last resort after trying to fix the problems internally.

The Cost of Hero Culture

Hero culture celebrates individuals who go above and beyond to save projects or teams. While it may seem positive, it can create hidden costs:

• Burnout risk for the “heroes” who carry too much responsibility.

• Dependency where others rely on one person instead of sharing the load.

• Lower team morale as others feel less motivated to contribute.

• Declining standards because problems are patched rather than solved.

  
  

This culture can make it harder to retain high performers who want a sustainable, fair work environment.

Simple Operational Changes to Reduce Friction

Reducing friction doesn’t require massive overhauls. Small, focused changes can make a big difference:

• Clarify priorities regularly so teams know what to focus on.

• Encourage decisive leadership by setting clear expectations for decision-making.

• Address incompetence promptly through coaching or role adjustments.

• Set and enforce standards to maintain quality and fairness.

• Distribute workload evenly to avoid overburdening any one person.

  
  

These steps create a clearer lane for high performers to do their best work without unnecessary obstacles.

A tidy workspace symbolizing clarity and focus

Practical Moves to Retain Your Best People in the Next 90 Days

If you want to keep your strongest team members, consider these actions:

• Schedule regular one-on-one meetings to listen and address concerns.

• Review and simplify workflows to remove bottlenecks.

• Empower leaders to make timely decisions.

• Recognize and reward consistent contributions, not just crisis fixes.

• Create opportunities for skill development and growth.

  
  

These moves show high performers that their work environment supports them and values their contributions.